I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize