So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
