And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
God I need to hump something, right now.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
