Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
dude. I can hear the air.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
