I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
