tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
