i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
