the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
