i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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