i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
