I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
