absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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