I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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