so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
