what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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