I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
