this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize