She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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