bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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