clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
