Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
where am i from again
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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