i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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