Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
