they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
