May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Also, beer. Big fan.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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