Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
A+ Viking dick
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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