ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
