I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
