Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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