hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
