You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
