thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
