his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
