census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
