nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
