direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
