I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
