Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
