Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
