Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
