Just fell off a train. Bad.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
