he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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