i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
