How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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