I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
