There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
