if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
