I want to make a zoo with you.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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