Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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