so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize