stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
