Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
