Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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