She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
