your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
