U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
