I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize