oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
